Esoteric Scribblings

Loneliness...

2011-04-01T22:28:00.006+05:30

Note: Reposting this from my Infosys internal blog, so there are chances you might have read already :)

Anjali was at her nervous best. Its half past midnight, still no signs of sleep in her eyes. Weather outside was gloomy and so was her mindset. Her relation with Suraj is just over two years but that doesn’t say any story about the relationship they share. Now he means 'Everything' in her life; the one who taught her the essence of life, the one who always makes her smile, the one who makes her feel great whenever he's around. But thoughts of 'what's gonna happen tomorrow' made her tensed. The day she most feared would eventually arrive.

Sun smiled from east, Anjali’s face somewhat clear now. I should not cry; never in front of Suraj; that would seriously affect him, she made up her mind. Anjali and Suraj were standing in front of a gigantic steel gate. Suraj was nostalgic, tears trickled down his cheeks. Anjali controlling her hard to look normal. A respectable, well built man in khaki's appeared in front of Suraj and soon he would take possession of Suraj. Anjali could not control her tears now, she never felt lonely all these years, but not now. She felt all alone without his company. "Take him to Pre-KG 'B' " Headmistress instructed the watchman. Yet another kid's first day at school.Yet another way to fool people, happy fools day :)

The end of a looong year and a beautiful decade

2011-01-01T15:25:00.000+05:30

2010 has been a really long and rigorous year with a mix of everything. The first half of the year was dominated by tours, trips, parties and get togethers while the later part was abysmally skewed towards reaching for professional and career goals. On a whole, an year to remember for sure where i did so many things which i never did before.

Now that 2010 is a thing of the past and so is the decade 200x. There is a tinge of sadness in the fact they will be confined to memories and history books from now on. Needless to say it was a very important decade in my life which saw my transition from a school boy to an engineering grad and then to a software engineer at Infosys technologies. It wasn't so smooth a sail but then it wasn't too daunting either. Personally, Sis getting married, birth of my nephew, college life, dad's retirement, sis's family emigrating to UK were the few notables of the past decade. Professionally its been an enriching experience with infy for the past 27 odd months in terms of learning, experience and exposure.

Let me thank each one of you who made this decade eventful, rewarding and beautiful for me and really sorry if i had been so mean to any of you guys. I hope the new decade will be a happy decade for each one of us, Happy New year 2011 :)

A blog after a long long time :)

2010-08-05T00:41:00.006+05:30

"Change is the only permanent thing in this world", some person remarked famously (or rather i guess so); for sure i dont remember who it is nor in any mood to google it at around 12.45 am, but yes, CHANGE is invariably everything in our lives. Incidentally the last three posts in this blog were posted when I was going through a big change or when i was hoping for a change or when I was working towards a BIG change.

It's quite amazing(actually puzzling) to see how life changes drastically and it does even before you come in terms with it. A lot of people come and go out of your life, friends become mere acquaintances while acquaintances become friends, your interests, passions, mindset, attitude and everything gets manipulated to some extent some where on the way. As the new breed comes in bringing with them newer mindsets, a new plethora of thoughts and personalities and even as it augurs good hope you are still cuddled in the dark void of change. There comes a point in time when you wanna scream who the hell switched off the lights at the end of the tunnel and you slowly realize Sun has already risen past horizon; as the mist of dreams and fantasies clears itself and unravels the stark contrast of ground reality you are already too late for the bus. It's then the mad rush starts... and i can proudly (phew!) say i'm in the midst of one such race to realize my short term goals which directly maps to my long term vision of my life. With very tight timelines i dont know how successful i'll be or how long it would take to taste a bit of success...but all i know is somewhere down the line I'll be...Ofcourse I'm not the one to relent :) No clues when i'd post next, as of now signing off.

The sounds of silence...

2009-08-19T17:38:00.002+05:30

What’s this: A fictional short story
What’s new: An attempt to innovate

“It’s an unfair, unfair world isn’t it? “

I lifted my head and gave an acknowledging smile .

“Look at him, look at the life he’s enjoying and look at our pathetic life, I just can’t digest this unjust treatment sir!” He said with his eyes fixed on my wallet.

Before I could think of convincing him, he continued in his grumbling voice…I continued as a spectator.

“Are we all not the same sir? When we were born, all of us were just the same Wood pulp… but why is this discrimination??? Currency notes enjoy all the luxuries; they’re preserved and protected against all evils; perfectly secured inside leather wallets and steel cases. They’re born to enjoy sir!!! Books are fine too. They’re preserved as well and never fail to enjoy their share of luxury either. Even newspapers are a lot better, at least for a single day they hog the limelight. But look at us, the poor tissue papers… We’re born to be disposed, aren’t we? “He was almost in tears…

I cleared my throat to start my speech of enlightenment…

“Yes sir, I completely understand your plight. But sir the bitter truth is, differences and discriminations are present everywhere. Yes, they’re EVERYWHERE. Think about us, the human beings, we all originated from apes but how divided we are… status-wise, colour-wise, religion-wise, region-wise, language wise, culture-wise, it goes on and on…What the rich enjoys is forbidden for the poor, What one enjoys is unthinkable for the other, While some are denied even the basic necessities some enjoy modern technologies and utmost sophistications in their life… may be all these things are unfair, but that’s how the world operates… “Even before I could end, my muted conversation was scrambled by a pat on my arm. It’s the hotel server.

He gave me the bill, I gave him the currency. Strangely now, both of them seemed like wood pulp to me. I smiled. Waiter dint knew why. Yes, he’s engrossed in his own world. In fact, they’re all engrossed in their own worlds, the one’s who are gifted to talk and hear. Their world is different, not like mine…the DEAF and DUMB.

Sometimes I do think the World is unfair to me, but then came the counter thought. There’s only one fundamental difference between me and other normal people. They interact with human beings while they’re just deaf and dumb to non living things, me on the contrary interact with these non living things but deaf and dumb to human beings. After all life isn’t that unfair right!

I took the change and left the hotel. Outside it was too noisy… walls quarrelling, vehicles dancing, roads groaning and one thing… there’s nothing called ‘Silence’ in my world, there’s always some sound… sounds of some kind… The Sounds of Silence… you normal people can’t comprehend it-I thought!!! and yes, what one enjoys is unthinkable for others.

I started to walk down the street. Some people where busy digging the road...“It’s an unfair-unfair world right” I heard someone groan…oh, its the road!!! I just smiled and cleared my throat…

It's been sooo long, Time to restart!

2009-08-08T17:49:00.004+05:30

It's been close to one year since i posted anything in this blog... It doesnt mean there's nothing happening in my life to write or there's nothing to write about... So far this one year has been the longest one year in all of my 22 years... There's so much happening around me and there's so much to tell and write about... But I am just too busy and unable to pen it down here... I am not so confident that I would be able to share all of them in a jiffy but what I can assure is, I would eventually do it in a short span of time(Hopefuly and probably !)... With bundles of memories and loads of experience to share with, its your amateur scribbler signing off now.

Would be OFF for a while to kickstart my career.

2008-09-27T01:45:00.003+05:30

And am leaving for mysore tomorrow evening...thats the reason why i hurriedly type this post at 2 am inspite of being tooo sleepy...(so please dont mistake me for my mistakes). Am a production engineer;Ok that's what my degree certificate says... but Am I ?? .. well thats a different question... but Am I a software engineer ?? thats the question i got to answer Infosys management for 6 long months in the form of training. Upon successful completion i can proudly say am a software engineer. Joining one's first job is a great feeling and am excited too. 4 months of waiting(for date of joining) finally gifted 1 month to shop and cherish and the days just went past like Abhinav's bullets. For some who doesnt know about Infosys;Infosys is one of the major IT companies in India and also in the world which provides world-class infrastructure and training to its employees. Mysore development center is one of the largest training center with awesome facilities to impart training. One would really be gifted to undergo training at mysore DC of infosys.Though am a positive thinker, jargons like 'firing' 'attrition' 'elimination' etc etc plays heavily at the back of my minds especially as i may get struck between two different fields. Thinking negative but acting with a positive mindset can be a good principle. well...let what ever happen over there am gonna get some splendid knowledge and experience.

Atleast for sometime till i somewhat settle overthere i couldnt write any story to post here...so... readers got to wait...hahahaha.Anyways i would try to post my travelling stories and all my happenings at mysore.

Another Giant leap of Man-kind ???

2008-09-09T19:39:00.014+05:30

Whether our understanding of the universe is going to change?

What's gonna happen on September 10, 2008 in Geneva?

What the most-complex-experimental-setup-ever intends/promises to reveal?

What happened seconds after big-bang resulting in creation of universe?

Will the gigantic LHC particle accelerator create black holes that engulf the planet or any other unpleasant effects on earth and its people?

Here am trying to give a basic what-why-how explanation for general readers who are uncertain about what is exactly going to happen on September 10th at LHC...what are the potential results or revelations expected...will it bring any mind-boggling revelations which can effectively give a whole new dimension to physics and more importantly about the creation of this universe (as explained by Big Bang theory).

LHC is a particle accelerator used by physicists to study the smallest known particles – the fundamental building blocks of all things. It will revolutionize our understanding, from the minuscule world deep within atoms to the vastness of the Universe.

How was the universe (matter) created?? What happened seconds after Big-Bang??

Basics:

What is 'matter'?

Something which has mass and occupies some space is known as matter. In this context, everything we see around in universe (observable universe) is matter. Matter is made of molecules; molecules of atoms.

What are sub-atomic particles?

Anything below the size of an atom is sub-atomic. Atom has a dense nucleus surrounded by electron cloud. Nucleus consists of positively charged protons and neutrons. Both protons and neutrons are composed of basic elementary particles called quarks. The quark is one of the two basic constituents of matter—the other being the lepton. Proton is made of two up-quarks and one down-quark, whereas neutron is made of one up-quark and two down-quarks.

What is big-bang theory?

According to the Big Bang cosmological model, the universe expanded from an extremely dense and hot state and continues to expand today. A common and useful analogy explains that space itself is expanding, carrying galaxies with it.

About LHC:

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is being built in a circular tunnel 27 km in circumference. The tunnel is buried around 50 to 175 m. underground. It straddles the Swiss and French borders on the outskirts of Geneva.

AIM OF CERN BEHIND LHC EXERCISE:

To smash protons moving at 99.999999% of the speed of light into each other and so recreate conditions a fraction of a second after the big bang. The LHC experiments try and work out what happened.

What happens within LHC?

The Large Hadron Collider is currently being installed in a 27-kilometer ring buried deep below the countryside on the outskirts of Geneva, Switzerland. When its operation begins, LHC will be the world’s most powerful particle accelerator. High-energy protons in two counter-rotating beams will be smashed together in a search for unknown answers regarding super symmetry, dark matter and the origins of mass.

The beams are made up of bunches containing billions of protons. Traveling at a whisker below the speed of light they will be injected, accelerated, and kept circulating for hours in vacuum, guided by thousands of powerful superconducting magnets.

Dark Matter: A Revolution

Every once in a while, a new scientific idea comes forth to challenge previous modes of thinking. There was an unsettling discovery that visible matter accounts for only 4% of the entire universe. Scientists recently underwent another such revolution when they realized that the majority of the universe is not made of the same type of matter as the Earth. From gravitational effects, we can infer the existence of this "dark matter," a type of matter that we cannot see. There is extensive circumstantial evidence that much of this is not made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons, as we are. They may possibly be composed of neutrinos, or even more exotic forms of matter hypothesized by theorists.

What baffles understanding?? What are the million dollar questions??

--Why do the fundamental particles have mass, and why are their masses different?

Each proton (or neutron) has about two thousand times the mass of an electron. We know a good deal about why the nucleus is so small. We do not know, however, how the particles get their masses. Why are the masses 'what they are'? Why are the ratios of masses 'what they are'? We can't be said to understand the constituents of matter if we don't have a satisfactory answer to this question.

--whether Higg's boson or God's particle really exist?

Proposed in 1964,it considers all of space filled with a imaginary (relativistically invariant quantum) fluid called the Higgs field. As the particles travel through this field, they gather mass on resistance provided by a new particle called the Higgs boson(God's particle as famously known)."God Particle" is a hypothetical massive scalar elementary particle predicted to exist by the Standard Model of particle physics though no experiment has ever detected the existence of such particles. Higg’s boson is too critical in finding out 'how particles gather mass’. Answering this question might possibly clear nearly every doubt about creation of universe.

LHC set-up can potentially reveal :

>how particles acquire masses, which in turn can explain the creation of universe after the big-bang.

>whether Higg's boson (God's particle) exists or not.

>Identity of dark matter, dark energy and their understanding. And numerous other answers to unanswered questions.

CERN reassures:

CERN has reassured public that by any reasonable thinking such risks of black holes or any other ill effects are impossible which is again assured by France's own safety probe.

So, come September 10th...injection of first protons into the massive machine would mark "a new beginning" in the world of science...would open up new vistas for particle physicists...it might well be another "Giant leap of man-kind".

What-ever may be the outcome of this most complex experiment one thing is assured, physics textbooks are bound to get thicker by at least 5 pages for next-decade-students...students beware-hats off CERN.

--------------------

BBC link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7604293.stm

Info and Image courtesy: CERN.

All the details given above are for a basic knowledge without going much deeper, any errors can be brought to notice immediately possible.

A ray of hope...

2008-09-01T11:23:00.017+05:30

Perseverance of my lachrymal glands should be immaculate. It was dozen fortnights back when I first harbored a wrenching pain in my heart and ever-since it was relentlessly persistent, making me a marine-fauna waddling through frequent downpours of salty liquid day-after-day.

My enthralled software colleagues enjoy their life working for one of the most prestigious concerns, but here I am lurching in depths of despair. Occupied before a monitor but pre-occupied with haunted thoughts traversing treacherous paths.

"What went wrong??"

"Why did she leave me alone??"

"Why isn’t she replying my mails??"

"Did I hallucinate??" or

"Did she defy my trust??"

Hundreds of questions linger in my ears, thousands of queries in my lips and million thoughts buffeting my heart, but brutality of silence continues to crucify me without a hint of mercy; as daily-calendar becomes leaner and leaner my heart turns heavier and heavier. Screen saver pops out to remind me of yet another five minutes spent wandering in desolate jungle in search of unknown answers.

A new mail popped out, I opened with much hesitation as it’s just a forward mail, a teddy bear not only greeted me "a great day" but also took me to those great days. How can I ever forget that glorious day when I first met Amitha. It was the start of my second year but it was her very first day in college, I was strolling towards our block and she was walking in front of me. A very cute teddy bear bag adorned her back, it was quite funny for me as no one resorts to such a bag which almost 'guarantees' mocking but then it was her very first day I thought. I don’t know why I did it but playfully pulled teddy's nose which made her turn abruptly and take notice, That's the first time I saw her face or even a girl's face that close, her face overflowing with fear and innocence, her beautiful hazel eyes under raised eyebrows glanced my eyes for few micro seconds, "sorry" I muttered without my knowledge totally forgetting that she's my junior and more importantly my friends are walking along. Ramki and I exchanged smiles as she turned back, yes now her teddy looked less cute.

The next time I met her was in the computer lab, a strange but nice coincidence that she occupied the system right next to me. Crimson red salwar perfectly complimented her complexion, I couldn’t take my sight off, for how could I, blinking cursors are by no way a competitor to her fluttering eyes. She was trying to execute a simple C program but seemed to have forgotten the execution command, her idiosyncratic gestures under the situation was a great treat to my 'failed-to-blink' eyes. Few moments passed, she noticed me staring but quickly positioned her sight back on the monitor screen rather precariously." Ctrl+F9 ", I said in a tone that she can very well interpret to be said for her. I turned towards my monitor, now I had to content with blinking cursor. Lab hours got over and I was wearing my shoes, a mellifluous voice greeted me, it was her. "Thanks" she said with a delightful smile.

"Amitha first year CSE" she continued.

"Great to know, am Pranav second CSE" I smiled.

"...and yoouuu aree theee oneee...laast weeek...rite "she dragged mischievously as we proceeded to walked.

I gave a shameful smile in acknowledgement as no implausible explanations struck me. "Ah-huh" she giggled.

The conversation continued all the way to canteen as it was lunch time by then, she was also a hostel’ite like me; great news I smiled within. The following night I was on my routine after-dinner-walk around the campus with my friends, I noticed Amitha coming in opposite direction; even from a long distance I couldn’t mistake her curly hair or her perfect physique. She looked even more beautiful in casual outfits; as she crossed us her face bloomed to result in a warm smile. "Good night" she whispered which for sure not audible but clearly visible to me or may be only to me. I liked it.

It doesn’t took much time for us to get closer as we had plenty of opportunities to chat, She always sat next to me in lab for the whole semester and infact it was me who taught her complete engineering drawing and C to an extent. Long chats after dinner became a standard routine, Airtel and nokia synchronously managed to help us during class hours. Months passed like days in her company, semester exams came and went without bothering me much but holidays were cruel. One year has passed even before I could realize; mobile bills and educational grades traveled in opposite directions; Amitha no longer calls me "senior" but "pranav". I liked it, infact loved it that way.

It was around mid-third year we started going out on weekends, initially Ramki or few of her friends accompanied us to movies or beaches but later on we just had each other for company. In a span of one and half years we hardly left a single spot in the city, from coffee shops to pizza huts, from malls to multiplexes, from temples to museums we covered the length and breadth of a big metro with relative ease. Those were the weekends of total bliss something which meant more than heaven to me; I could hardly remember any other happy moment in my life or at least none after my mom bid goodbye to this world leaving behind 10 year old Pranav to suffocate without care and affection.

Whole college gave us 'lovers' tag, and no reason why they shouldn’t. Though we knew we were in love, we haven’t formally proposed and that was always playing on the back of my mind. On few occasions (read as Valentines Day/my birthday) I mustered all courage to propose her but gave up in final moments.

And the day I most feared took center stage, the day when I have to leave the campus for one last time. It was an extreme test of my emotional endurance, friends and college took back seat when it came to my beloved. I really couldn’t digest it, tears rolled out of eyes unabated. I guess that’s just the second time in my life I cried in public.

Something pops out; "hey, how r u ", a friend from US pings on messenger scrambling my thoughts.

"Am fine, what abt u"

"Doing gr8, wass up then"

"Nothing much, as usual"

The conversation carried on smoothly for few more lines and there comes the question.

"Hey wat abt ur girl man, any mails or msg"

"NO...." I typed after an uncomfortable brief pause.

I can’t forgive myself for my terrible act of insanity, the cursed day when I proposed Amitha through SMS, exactly a year after I left the college.

"I Love U Ami, will U marry me"

That took me more than an hour to type but nevertheless gave me a life-time to regret. Six months since that msg left my mobile but it looks like sixty long years to me. Amitha seems to have switched off her mobile the moment she read the message since then it was switched of till this very minute, no correspondence from her what-so-ever, no reply's to 100's of mails sent apologizing and begging to her. Why the hell I proposed her??? Amitha left a huge void in my life; she took away the happiness, joy, smiles and every thing from my life but tears. I can take rejection on any given day with utmost courage, but the pain of total avoidance coupled with embarrassment is killing me day by day.

'Your mail has been sent'- yet another mail sent to Amitha, Closed all windows and prepared to leave... yes, am LEAVING now...!!!

Hundreds of questions linger in my ears, thousands of queries in my lips and million thoughts buffeting my heart, but brutality of silence continues to crucify me without mercy; morbidity beckons and I...

****************

"Gimme a minute Rahul, I would jus send a mail and we'll start together" Ramki panted to his colleague

Ramki started to type hurriedly...

Dear pranav,

Its really very painful to see you like this man, how many times I have to advice you, come-on da you are jus 23 enjoy your life; there is much more to experience, enjoy and achieve rather than to sulk thinking about the past. I really feel sorry for you dear but even if you deny, the truth its not gonna change, what ever happened HAS happened, you or me don’t have power to change. May be take it as God's will, who knows his plot. I beg you dear please make up your mind and accept the truth...

Don’t you know Amitha was NO MORE...don’t you know she was killed on spot in a road accident six months back as she attempted to cross the road while being engrossed to her mobile...why don’t your mind accept this...pleaseee change yourself dear, I beg you again, try to forget her. Meet you this weekend at our usual spot.

A-very-concerned friend,

Ramki.

****************

Am happy now...a lot more happy than those weekends...I hope to hear it from my love, my Amitha...planning to introduce her to my mom tomorrow....she will like ami...Am sure. I could now see a bright ray of hope as one of the 10 pills took its course…

------------------------------------------------

On a Lighter note...

2008-08-31T02:41:00.007+05:30

Very recently I visited a popular Eye hospital in Chennai, now relax your brows nothing wrong with my eyes, I just accompanied my sister (who had a minor infection) or rather to look after my little nephew. Little kids have their-own-way of keeping themselves entertained, my six year old nephew Rohit not an exception in any case. What would 'I' do then? Sitting there idle for about an hour or so, i found my-own-way to keep me entertained (read as awake). Am forcefully mused in my so-called-wisdom thoughts, of course you are free to label it as crazy, weird, useless anything. Here goes the thought...

Big hall had a central seating arrangement and consulting rooms all around, every two seconds some attendants from one of the rooms calls out a name loud, they literally shout out the name two to ten times before patient identifies them or vice-versa. Poor souls I thought, but who cares about 'throat' in an 'eye hospital' right…lol. leave alone 'throat' lets come to 'ears' part of it, it was obviously noisy and disturbing if you are the solitary one with a novel or this weeks 'business today'. If hospital zones are maintained ‘no horn zones' then equal care should be administered to ward off noise within too, isn’t it. Or this doesn’t apply to eye hospitals or what, am not that aware anyway. The advantage of being an engineer is, it makes you to think, if not useful at least something useless. How can we eliminate this noise? A million dollar question!!!! Hahahaha... There were TV sets on all corners playing some old English movies or cartoons and a good amount of people watching it in spite volume being set Zero, now why don’t they have a system to display names of next patient with their details if not along their photograph in those TV sets. It reduces confusion, human effort and more importantly 'noise' rite... Oops...Oops...Oops...did I forget, it’s an eye hospital. I mean 'EYE' hospital, not everyone has clear vision or expected to...rite...Ugh… now am thinking of EAR hospitals...!!!!!!!!!!lol What system they follow then... same as here or a display board type...hahahah...!!! As I declared earlier, this thinking rightly deserves "useless” tag....nevertheless time flies by in thoughts....

Now I can sense what ‘you’ readers think right now, "On a lighter note" hmmm… do you really think you did justice to the title???...that’s the obvious question right...remember, Patience Pays...at least makes 'you' pay a price... anyways here comes my lighter moment (based on what-ever-met my eye).

What is an eye hospital?

A place where most people are 'Spectacled' and remaining few are called 'Patients’. Think about it!

P.S: if you haven’t laughed yet, you'll laugh the next time you visit an eye hospital.

I-day scribbles...

2008-08-15T23:36:00.017+05:30

"saare jahaan se achcha Hindustaan hamara

Hum bul bulain hai is kee, ye gulsitan hamaraa "

Yes. Better than ALL the world, is MY HINDUSTAAN... How many times i would have heard this song and today it felt even good, or i dont know may be that's how i feel everytime i hear it,even it has helped me clean my eyes on some occasions. These national songs and anthems have this special ability; they instill a sense of total pride, fully inflate the chest, raise the shoulders to reach for skies and everything in matter of minutes. certainly they were not magicians but right kind of doses to bring out the patriot in us, i mean from Everyone of us... I love my country, We love our INDIA, Dont we? when we love, it shows, for how long we could hide under the blankets of unemployment, over-population, corruption or poor performance in sports tournament oops cricket tournament, real truth is amidst everything we LOVE our country for what-ever it is and even for what-ever it is not.

Today am writing anything and everything independently and why not, its been sixty-one bright and glorious years since we got our INDEPENDENCE. There were as many wonderful things to look back and relish as to look forward and expect from a developing country.one of the 'fastest growing economies', thats the latest feather in our hat; of course we've come a long way forward since the days of Bengal famines and green revolution. Hospitality of Indians is well known and no doubt medical tourism is booming in our mother-land. Every day, news of Indians making bright impressions on foreign canvases is heard from around the world adding up to the Indian pride.

For a nation which stood tall and strong amid earthquakes, Tsunami's and floods, cowardly acts of terrorism can only fail in their attempts to disrupt our harmony. Terrorists might be ignorant, across a culturally, regionally, religiously, linguistically diversified nation there is an unified soul of a peace loving country. Terrorists can only plant bombs but cannot root communal peace, they can bring down sructures but not the spirit of Indians, we indians love bravery and on the eve of sixty-first independence day i hope terrorists stop upstaging their acts of cowardice...

we have a rich, varied, diversified and unique cultural heritage spanning well over 3000 years across the length and breadth of our country, culture and traditons havent restricted or restrained this generation much compared to previous generations, from westernizing or globalizing. Evolution is too rapid and we're compelled to keep up the pace, but we should also keep in our minds of the undeclared responsibility we have in taking the culture and heritage to our next generation, atleast letting them a taste of it before its too late. 3000 years old culture and heritage might not take 300 years to get extinct if we continue our total negligence. we cant wear dhoti's or other traditional wears 365 days/year but atleast 3 days/year to preserve the rich heritage of our mother country. Hindusthani and carnatic musics might not go well with a party but why not try on a sleep deprived night, even it has reportedly said to have some mind calming effects. "HI" or "hello" is ofcourse classy but why not just try our traditional "namaskar" on family functions like marriages. All these stuffs might not take much out of you, but goes a long way in preserving our culture and heritage. For all the things our ancestors have gifted us, we owe atleast this much, dont we. Our cuture or tradition may have some shortcomings but after all its OUR'S.

This write-up might well lack life and purpose if i fail to thank all those brave warriors of Indian Army, who work tirelessly fighting extremes of climates along with enemies and protect us from all potential evils which makes us enjoy our hard fought FREEDOM.Their families deserve a special mention for their sacrifices. Hats off jawans!!!

Happy independence day to one and all...

proud to be an Indian...

jai hind!!

Malawian hopess...

2008-08-08T00:06:00.020+05:30

It was 2 pm in Malawi, it wasn’t a most pleasant day or at least not for Chinua, Sun wasn’t too scorching but humidity was rattling the shirtless young Chinua who swept the sweat aside while continuing his work in tobacco plantations. Chinua should be an eleven year old boy, assuming his illiterate mother wasn’t erroneous in her prediction. Malawi is a south-east African nation; with over 60% of the masses below poverty line it’s needless to mention Malawi ranks in top-10 poorest nations of the world.

Chinua works from dawn to dusk, herding cattle’s and working in tobacco estate, after nightfall he don's the role of night watchman or rather watch-boy. It was two years since Chinua's father joined the several lakh people who left Malawi and the world with AIDS. Death due to illness is not a rare sight in a country with just over 100 doctors and more than 12 million people. Stories of death resulting from AIDS has become an everyday commodity in Malawi, Access to mere basic healthcare is a luxury to more than half of Malawians and nearly most of Mchinji, where his father breathed his last. Mchinji is a most poor district of Malawi where Chinua and his mom were desperately managing to survive. It cannot be said that Chinua’s dad did not leave anything behind, he did make his wife inherit what ever he possessed, which means Chinua has to take care of his HIV positive mother which was as daunting a task as getting meals thrice a day.

Chinua toils extremely hard nearly 24*7, ALL for two cups of nhimsa a day (food made of maize) to mute his abdominal noises and also of his mom. Initially he was assured of a meager pay by plantation owner but it was well past eight months since he got anything as pay. He was more than happy if he gets to eat twice a day, even which is deprived if plantation owner was in OFF mood. Chinua's naked torso is for sure a delight to every medical student, his protruded ribcage made sure the enwrapping piece of flesh stretched as hard as it ever could.

Malawi is famously referred to as "Warm heart of Africa”. Malawians have this legacy of sporting a riveted smile most of the times, but it’s an impossible task to sport a smile when you are bullied with heavy shaft of wood, Chinua knows that fact very well. Freshness of the wound embellishing his right forearm was valid enough evidence reinstating the fact that the injury is not more than few hours old. But more than the wound, the forced-fastening since last night made him shrink, cringe and struggle. Chinua hasn't really cried for starving ever before; but today was a different day, a hurting wound intertwined his miseries and it seemed as if he would cry but thankfully resilience prevailed.

It was 4 pm. Sun God has already decided to descend towards horizon, Chinua's wait for nhimsa still continued, his face was a collage of million thoughts, seated on a lone rock and seemingly lost in total oblivion, he stared in the direction pertaining 'Home of Hope' which is at a reasonably fair distance. In a country of 1 million orphans, 'Home of Hope' in Mchinji district is the largest orphanage in Malawi which caters mere 500 orphans. That is where his friend Mabandla is taken care of; he gets food thrice a day, education, clothes and a good shelter, to be precise he gets everything, what more than one million orphans outside 'Home of Hope' are deprived of. Chinua thought how gifted baby David should be, to be adopted by some one called Madonna from 'Home of Hope'. Chinua is not sure whether he would be admitted in 'Home of Hope’ or at least after his beloved mother's departure, he isn't sure whether he would be one-in-a-million or one-in-five hundred inside 'Home of Hope', but his bright brown eyes stands as testimony for his affinity to join Mabandla; not to enjoy luxuries but to satisfy so-called basic necessities even though he managed to survive without them for long time. Chinua and other one million orphans do not know the economic status of their country, they do not know who Rev.Thomson or Madonna was, they do not know what project-Raising Malawi intends to, they do not know what is AIDS, they do not know how many more 'home of hopes' would be needed for their hopeless country; all they knew, all they wanted, all they hope for is some little food to survive the day and fight the hunger... As the sun drowned in horizon, Chinua stood up and strolled to take-over his night watchman assignment with a stomach full of water, mind full of hopes and few drops of tears...

----------------------------------------------------------

Epilogue:

Home Of Hope :

"Home of Hope" is the working name for Mchinji Mission Orphanage,an independent local initiative founded by Rev Thomson Chipeta, a retired church minister. Remembering what it had been like to lose his own parents whilst still young. Since it was founded in 1997 it has provided hope and a new life for 500 children who have lost one or both parents.

http://www.homeofhope.org.uk/

Project-Raising Malawi:

Since 2006, Raising Malawi has been dedicated to bringing an end to the extreme poverty and hardship endured by Malawi’s one million orphans. Co-founded by Madonna and Michael Berg, Raising Malawi uses a community-based approach to provide immediate direct physical assistance, create long-term sustainability, support education and psycho-social programs, and build public awareness through multimedia and worldwide volunteer efforts.

Raising Malawi works tirelessly to save lives, and strives also to bring the plight of suffering children to the forefront of the global community.

http://www.raisingmalawi.org/index.php

I AM BECAUSE WE ARE :

This is a short documentary film produced by Madonna concerning over the millions of orphans in Malawi who have lost parents and siblings to HIV and AIDS, many of whom live on the streets. The film also shows the efforts with Madonna's charitable organisation Raising Malawi in helping with improving their lives and conditions.

Madonna said about the film: "To say that this film is a labor of love is trivial. It's also the journey of a lifetime. I hope you all are as inspired watching it as I was making it."

http://www.iambecauseweare.com/

PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO:

For a clear insight on state of Malawi and Malawi children..>I AM BECAUSE WE ARE

Please join the campaign, be a volunteer to create awareness, sign up now:

http://raisingmalawilist.org/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1

Friendship day scribbles...

2008-08-03T22:36:00.009+05:30

Today, the first Sunday of august, obviously world is celebrating 'Friendship' today... since time immemorial I strongly believe friendship is the most beautiful of feelings gifted to mankind, so why not celebrate it when we have several crazy festivals...like La Tomatina for battling with tomatoes and pancake day for eating pancakes!!!

I can remember myself thinking sometime back about- "how world would have been if there is nothing called electricity", but not for a second i could imagine a world without friendship...!!! Eek horrible!!! World might have just been an exhibition of humanoid robots, or like wave less beaches, totally lifeless...

World evolves too rapidly, and with the advent of modern day science and latest technologies, the way we live gets revolutionized with every single revolution of earth. Our lifestyle now is not the same compared to what we've been few years back. I never really imagined i would sit in front of an illuminated box for hours together and call it as socializing. For sure, social-networking sites have a greater say on our everyday life’s or atleast in the life’s of few million people who were plagued(read as gifted)by this craze. I have 150+ friends(or acquaintances) and thanks to Orkut. Oh no, I don’t envy at my fellow orkuteers with 300+ friends, never really after last night when i individually scrapped my friends with friendshipday greetings; but i should say backpain and even monotonousness can be pleasurable sometimes, atleast if not for me definitely for my friends...

All the Internet messengers (IM's) deserves a salute today for their awesome job in unifying friends thousands of miles apart and make them feel tantalizingly close to one another. Am thankful to them for all those nice chats with my friends. And I want to thank all my friends for all those great moments shared and all those irritations they endured for me, I really don’t know how good was I for my friends or did I disappoint them in any way; anyways I apologize for all my blemishes.

Now we have atleast half a dozen ways to reach our friends; mobiles, msgs, mails, IM's, orkut or other social networking sites. But in my moment of insanity I was made to think- how relationship friendly are all these. An unanswered call, forgotten msg, overlooked scrap-Do they have potential to slightly weaken a relationship, I hope it shouldn’t and it wouldn’t unless we allow it to... In any case, sticking to fundamentals can do a world of good to your gifted friendship- EXPECT LESS and EXPRESS MORE...

Friends are not someone to live with, but Live-For...

Happy friendship day one and all...

Pinkish Blues-A Fictional Short Story

2008-07-27T17:31:00.013+05:30

TODAY: 12.30 PM

Belicia Business towers, Chennai.

Shekar was seated outside the conference hall, he had the sports column of The Hindu right next to his face, but his eyes were riveted to the wall directly behind. It was very easy to predict that he is engulfed by a deep thought, scanning through his face there were few hidden hints of a smile.

YESTERDAY: 10.40 PM

Temple-view apartments, Chennai.

"78 runs from 60 balls is what A-L-L India need and we were IN for a thrilling finish! " , Loud and shrill, Ravi shasthri proclaimed in HIS-own-version of television commentary.

For a die-hard fan of cricket, Shekar very well knew, this India-Pakistan encounter is heading towards a nail-biting finish, but Pakistani fast bowlers were not ALL his concern by then. The pictures started to roll in his mind, of how he was ruthlessly thrashed by his boss same morning; momentarily it did remind him of sehwag mercilessly hitting the young bowler all over the stadium.

Shekar is not the only one to be unpunctual in his office but he is the only one with a great consistency record for that feat. And today he was cleanly trapped in front of wicket by Ramkumar; chief HR, who also happens to be his boss. Those 35 minutes when shekar was in listening mode(or rather, 'forced to be in listening mode'), might well be as painful as the one he got six months back; which was very clear from the looks he cradled in his face, as he came out.

"Yes", Shekar pumped his fist in air, as Yuvraj cleared the mid wicket fence for a huge six. Beep!! Beep!! Beep!! Beep!! "Aw!!" Shekar exclaimed, his tone more worried than excited. It was his Timex, which unmistakably raised the alarm at 10.45 pm sharp. That is the second time, he is switching of an alarm tonight; for he switched off his table clock at around 10.30 pm...

Still looking at his Timex, Shekar's face turned pale, instantly relieved from his short lived moment of ecstasy-courtesy Yuvraj Singh. Again his thoughts seemed to wander and his face seemingly worried, pretty much evident from his twitched forehead; from which miniature globules of perspiration fell on the floor, quickly awakening him from a frozen thought, which became the order of the day; more so tonight.

Twenty four years old Shekar is the one responsible for an very important negotiation meeting with a problematic client early tomorrow morning; what makes the meeting doubly important for Shekar is, it was HIS unpunctuality that made the client to cancel the meeting, which was originally scheduled for day before yesterday. That’s the primary reason why shekar was threatened, if not bruised by furious Ramkumar today in his cabin. Hence it has become absolutely necessary for shekar, to catch the early morning company bus (route 22).

Apprehensive Shekar was in two minds: To switch off the Sony wega and go to sleep, facilitating early morning rise around 4 am; or to watch till the last ball of the game. He very well knew, he would be deeply drowned in the match, and that prompted him to set up couple of alarms to wake him up, to go to sleep...but now they both seemed inconsequential as Shekar was still lying in sofa, watching the game.

"What if, I miss the bus tomorrow" he heard himself say, as Asif was re-introduced into the attack by Pakistan skipper Shoaib Malik.

Pink-slip is never too far, he pondered; as his head nodded twice or thrice at a very low pace, with or maybe without his consent. Those thoughts clearly triggered the buzzer within him. He made up his mind, and moments later he was found sleeping...but not before he rightly set the clock to raise the noise at 4 am sharp.

It is said that, crying baby gets the milk, but somehow unfortunately alarm clocks around the world gets only a heavy banging on their top, when ever they start sounding bizarre. Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep!!! and this time it was a Timex alarm clock which was in receiving end in the hands of Shekar. It was 4 am, he very well knew, the bus reaches his location not before 5.10 am. So his few yawns from bed are very well justified.

He curbed his natural laziness in brushing, shaving and showering; which eventually brought him before dressing table around 4.40 am, and it was 4.56 am when shekar complemented himself with a neatly ironed van huesen shirt tucked inside black formal trousers, a lovely silk tie, polished leather black shoe, gelled hair-do, except for a semi-formal leather bag, he was perfectly professional.

The 5-minutes walk from his apartments to the main road was never too leisure for Shekar, he had more than 10 minutes to spare for the bus, but on a typical day he would have easily bagged a medal for fast walking competition. The chillness of early morning breeze was more than soothing to relieve himself of what ever little traces of stress in his face. It was five-past-five when he reached his first destination of the day. Not even two minutes passed, he was found grumbling for the bus. In the past he has prayed countless number of times for the bus to arrive late, but now he was grumbling for the bus to be ON time; and he did acknowledge this funny fact with a sunny smile.

It was close to 5.10 am, when early morning joggers heard a somewhat loud noise, " Oh my God"-a voice of total disbelief reverberated; It was shekar, who made this loud cry. His face was an embodiment of total disbelief and distress; sweat brushed some artistic patterns on his van huesen shirt.

Shekar forgot his mobile phone, and was kicking himself for the terrible idea of placing his mobile over the all-important-CD containing today’s presentation, thinking that he would never forget his mobile thus saving him of his presentation CD. But now he forgot both. He never faced a catch 22 situation before, but it was indeed a CATCH-22 situation for him, he has to catch bus #22, but he left the CD at home. For an instant all his conscious efforts and compromises to catch the bus, seemed futile.

Millions of thoughts crossed his mind; he kicked his foot on hard soil twice in vain. He imagined the devastating effects, should he fail today. He was unsure whether his company can save the client and to how many persons he would have to explain. Even as these agonizing thoughts crossed his mind, for a micro second of time he thought- "At least I should have watched the game till end".

Seconds later, a sprinter bypassed the bewildered early morning joggers; and it was Shekar who is literally sprinting in the lanes towards his apartment. Not even 100mts completed, the unexpected happened. While trying to elude a Fiat, his left foot struck on a concrete pavement, completely lost his balance and was about to witness a very bad fall....

For a briefer moment everything blanked out and appeared gloomy.....

Shekar was at his enigmatic best; he could only hear now a faint noise from a distance......

Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...!!!!! Timex sounded caution, bringing back shekar to reality after a dreamy slumber... It was 4 am in the morning!!! It took him good 5 secs to recover from his scary dream and pink-slip blues...

Even before switching off the alarm, the first thing he did was; ran to his desk, took the CD and placed inside his bag, secondly he kissed the timepiece, maybe for the first and last time ever in this world...

5.12 Am: Shekar comfortably inside #22 on a window seat, CD and mobile very much intact. Laid-back in his seat, he closed his eyes as strong breeze oozed past his face. He did offer a smile.

TODAY: 12.45 PM

Shekar was brought back to life by a pat on his shoulder, it was Ramkumar.

"Congrats man, you've made us proud. That's a beautiful presentation", Ramkumar shook hands with Shekar, visibly elated.

Shekar dawdled along Ramkumar, towards his cabin leaving behind the sports column in chair, which read MEN IN BLUE WON BY 5 WICKETS.

*******************************************************

And the beauty of creative writing.(my first blog)

2008-07-09T13:34:00.004+05:30

It wasn’t a typical summer evening in my town, nevertheless a fantastic one indeed; thanks to the darkish sky and those gentle drizzles which just held me back at home, and what better occasion to start off my first blog, which unquestionably was an extremely delayed one. If I had to say, “am a very busy person" or "I always had a hectic schedule”, even I cant hold my giggles, then how can i expect my friends to; so I guess lack of patience and a calm mind should have held me back from giving a headstart to my first blog....The words calmness and creative writing often reminds me of isolated greenish meadows with a lone big tree, silent valleys with just the sounds of flushing water and chirping of birds, moon drenched planes with only star studded sky as companion, for that matter i knew...writers are the one's worst served in this agitated cyber world... but writers have come of age too.... now Calmness means a switched off modem, mobile in silent mode and headphones off ears... lone meadows are fast replaced by blinking monitors and chirping of birds replaced by tapping of keyboards... going by these standards....i think am reasonably calm now ...

Now am all set to start off my writings, what i like to mention as "yet another eternal journey in the quest to identify who am I " and it was also a very optimistic attempt to make others understand me, which even i find it difficult at times. I do know this isn’t a book for me to thank those were behind, but I got to thank my friend (ramesh), for his venture into blogging may just have sparked off the occasional amateur scribbler in me.

Now lets get back to the business,...well, how many times have i experienced this...when i sit back and prepare my selves to write on some topic, an avalanche of ideas and thoughts criss cross my brain, just as I was about to believe I’ve got enough stuff to start my writing, and as I was about to pen my thoughts,there only a static exists as i couldn't stabilize my thoughts...Not even a single word written!!!!..in the background starts the big fight between my heart and brain, my brain empowered by all the worldly knowledge of morality, people, laws, logics tends to take position which is stereotypically correct, ethically perfect and accepted by majority of people, whereas my heart gives my own perspective of the subject irrespective of whether its right or wrong, good or bad, acceptable or not...Thus as the opinions clash it creates a cloud of perplexity in our mind regarding "what’s my own opinion of the subject", creating a big barrier between pen and paper. The greatness lies in breaking this barrier and start expressing your real view and what really you want to express without being consumed by the feeling of what most others would accept, to keep it short, without loosing your individuality and trusting your vocabulary. Doing so, in the process you would have identified your innerself and get to know more about you apart from expressing yourself to others. Over a period of time when you had written on quite a few topics, you would find it easy to understand yourself which helps in taking flawless decisions concerning your own life....and that's where beauty of creative writing exists... and that’s why am into blogging too.....welcome to the world of creative writing...welcome to my world of blogs.....

Gone with wind........

2008-07-08T13:12:00.004+05:30

............Gone are those days when we whiningly entered the school campus...with sorrow filled disgusted face which turns cheerful on a particular day marked with lone "PT" period in timetable .

.........Gone are those days when we slogged hours together working along like bats which search for their prey in night....depriving sleep and with it the much sought after adolescent dreams, just in order to realize our dreams (or our parents dreams in perception; of making their child as doctors or engineers)

....Gone are those days when we first entered our so called engineering college campus with those gr8, wonderful dreams of enjoying the so called most enjoyable part of life or at least just as portrayed in our regional films...only to find out at last it would only join the long list of things which falls under only-exercised-in-films category!!!!!

.....Gone are those days when we chatted with friends during lectures, delivered by a person who could easily convince anyone that he doesn’t deserves his lecturer job, for the toughest job in earth is teaching and that too for a blind to teach colors is more cruel and awful..Isn’t it...

....... Gone are those days when we made birthdays extremely painful with our so called celebration bumps and also expected a treat for that

...Gone are those days when our face directly faced the desk beneath instead of the lecturer's face, who expects a answer from us followed by few minutes of screwing.

....Gone are those days when we complained our canteen foods...just like a typical Indian wife...Who is anyway convinced nothing is to change but still would resort to complain just to lower the misery

.....Gone are those days when we mocked our mates for academic excellence and gave a cult status for all those other things which your dad and college administration least expects u to do inside college

...Gone are those days when we went inside classroom with a pride infested chest as brand new costumes covered it

...Gone are those days when we had 3 full hours of inactivity for relaxation followed by half day holiday as incentive in the name of model examinations

......Gone are those days when we went on entertainment trips every semester disguised as industrial visits

....Gone are those days when we gathered under a specific tree day after day (which served as our vantage point) to do everything which entertained us and for a graceful view of passer-by's... (yes...your rite...including girls)

...Gone are those days when we chatted in corridors with periodical guffaws, sometimes unknowing and most times hesitant to look at the faculty with an scornful look noticing us from a distance.

.....Gone are those days of not so extravagant yet extremely enjoyable college day functions

......Gone are those days when we sported a blank look in our face when we’re threatened of utter low internals only to laugh within as we know they have to rewrite the history if they have to do such an act of bravery.

...Gone are those days during semester holidays when we wondered how did I miss past 5 months without reading anything?? And swore to ourselves of reading at least certain units before-hand during next semester but only to be content with more surprise in next
sem

.....Gone are those days when we were deceptively agile in glancing our predecessor's answer script amidst an invigilator who thinks he is extremely vigilant; but bewitched by our innocent looking face or made-to-look-innocent-face, custom made for exam halls.

......Gone are those days when we gasped a deep breathe after 3 hours of grueling examination and walked down the stairs with the pride and vanity, as if we were Davinci and jus finished Monalisa.

...Gone are those days when our skeptic thoughts about exam results gets answered by flooding inbox msgs and perspiration which follows

....Gone are those days when we used to make a rhythmic noise with our foot wears dabbing and scratching the floor jus to indicate the faculty its time to leave and which is usually followed by a curve in our face when he leaves the space

..Gone are those very rare days in our life when we associate total uncertainty and gr8 self confidence together...ya...none other than practical exams and vivas which follows

.....Gone are those days when we get irritated by scribbling or great writings on desks but still we resort to have our manuscripts registered there

....Gone are those beautiful days when we faced test of endurance after we said something foolish in friends circle which is very obviously followed by mocking, teasing, jeering and watever with the only motive of annoying us...

....Gone are those days in the middle of exam holidays when incoming msgs turn extremely probing and sent msgs turn complete surrenderance followed by few explanations which is anyway considered as lie

......Gone are those days when a single boring class beautifully explained relativity theory

....Gone are those days when budding engineers turned statisticians, calculating attendance percentages before taking a day-off towards semester ends

..... Gone are those distressing nights before exam and anxious mornings followed by serene evenings

....Gone are those days when we simply loitered around the campus which we have already done for 3 preceding years but still finding it very interesting

....Gone are those days when we shared our best moments with our glorious friends

....Gone are those days when we get consoled in our hour of grief by a friend we least expected

....Gone are those days and no more we'r gonna hear - "we hav never seen such a worst batch in our life" by the faculties year after year right from primary schooling till graduation in wat ever class you are......

....Gone are those days when we took pride in organizing department symposiums with a strong belief that it’s the best among departments

.....Gone are those days of rare misunderstanding between us and a even more stronger relationship that followed

....Gone are those days when we had crush on a girl and very immediately understood why our mind is always associated with monkeys!!!!!!

....Gone are those days of extreme pain during final month in college...And even more excruciating final weeks

.....Gone are those days when tears drenched eyes spoke very briefly of inevitable end to our college life and the painful aftermath of it...

... .Gone are those euphoric days of total blissfulness

.....Gone are those days of seamless enjoyment

.....Gone are those precious invaluable moments

....Gone are those everything which meant happiness in our life until then.......

.......Everything gone like Wind ...but still fresh are those evergreen memories of those days...the time we enjoyed...the time we fought...the time we smiled...the time we cried...and everything......every single spot in the campus has a very big tale to tell to all of us...

-----------somewhere down the line in my life...say even twenty or even thirty years from now ...if I get to visit my college...I knew there would be single living thing to welcome me…yes...none other than the all important tree...beneath which we spent more hours together other than our classrooms.........which would recognize me, remind me and take me back to those gorgeous days of my life......and am sure that Would be the first time someone would have shed tears under that tree..!!!!!!!!-------------------------

~~~Memories are Painful...but without them Life is nothing ...only they have the power to make us Cry thinking about hours we Laughed and Laugh thinking about hours we Cried~~~~